Empowering the Journey of Early Motherhood and I WANTED TO BE WONDERFUL by Lihi Lapid
- Marisa Gelfand
- 2 days ago
- 2 min read
She was independent, a photographer, when they married. Soon, she was pregnant. It was high-risk, forcing her to step back from work. Her expectations of herself changed, as did those of society and her husband. When maternity leave ended, getting work became a battle. So, she had another baby quickly, thinking one return to work must be easier than two.
Her daughter, with special needs, arrived next. Everything changed. Caring for her was the priority. Her son came second. Her husband third. Her own needs rarely counted. She was jealous of his ability to work, to step outside the demands of home. The world consistently judged her.
She and her husband drifted. Hurt and loneliness festered as they stopped making time to be themselves together or individually. Eventually, she realized that the only way they’d make it was if she gave herself space to feel fulfilled, caught the positive moments, and found ways to blend the roles of individual, mom, and wife.
Motherhood is a complex journey shaped by personal, relational, societal, and political forces. This time of matrescence, the process of becoming a mother, brings physical, emotional, social, and psychological change, and an identity shift marked by both joy and crisis.
Here are tools for empowering the journey of early motherhood:
Challenge Unrealistic Expectations: Perfectionism can invade motherhood, fueled by pressures about what a “good mom” should be. Unreachable standards lead to burnout. Notice the moments when you are good enough, and celebrate small wins.
Stay True to You: Be a “Mom and ____.” This and can be your passions, work, or hobbies. Everyone needs to shine as themselves. Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s essential for a sustainable life.
Spend Time With Your Village: Motherhood is a team sport. Connect with other parents. Don’t know any? Try the park, groups at your place of worship, Mommy and Me classes, or communities like MOMS International or Stroller Strides.
