Magda is coping with the death of her best friend, Sara. Sara and Magda used to do everything together. They shared secrets, wrote letters when apart, and once shared a kiss. The kiss meant more to Magda than it did to Sara, who chose to stay in her mediocre marriage to a man rather than embrace a life with Magda.
While going through Sara’s belongings, Magda discovers that Sara had planned a road trip to celebrate Magda’s 70th birthday. Missing Sarah, Magda goes on the trip, with Sara’s ashes by her side. Along the way, Magda meets women who are openly living the life Magda realizes she had always longed for – one where love can be expressed authentically and openly. Tentatively, Magda explores a relationship with a woman she meets on her journey. At 70 years old, she finally begins to discover her identity and sexuality in fulfilling ways.
Exploring sexuality later in life can be an empowering experience. As we age, we develop seemingly comfortable patterns and self-perceptions, but stepping outside the familiar opens up new possibilities for happiness. Exploring sexuality at any age allows you to discover parts of yourself that may have been hidden or repressed, reframe thoughts on intimacy and relationships, and let go of outdated notions (like internalized homophobia) that no longer fit.
There are potential hurdles. But, the rewards for engaging in the work of self-discovery are immense: a life filled with greater authenticity and deeper connections. Here are tools for exploring sexuality later in life:
Embrace the Learning Curve: There’s a lot to learn, like new social norms, terms, cultural references, and logistics of physical intimacy. Be patient with yourself as you absorb it all.
Take Your Time: Things won’t fall into place overnight, and that’s fine. Allow yourself the space to gradually explore your thoughts and feelings as they arise without rushing the process.
Get Group Support: Seek group support. A good place to start is SAGE, a group specifically tailored to provide advocacy and services for LGBTQ+ Elders.