Rocky - mid-fifties and mid-menopausal – is trying to balance her children’s independence, her parent’s increasing frailty, and her own emotional baggage.
Rocky has been married to her husband, Nick, for decades. Together, they have two children – one in college and the other a young professional. Life as an empty-nester has been hard on Rocky. She misses her children, realizes that their formative years were not a vision of gender equality in parenting, and is heartbroken and ecstatic that they have carved out lives for themselves that need not include her on a day-to-day basis. With more time together, Rocky realizes that she has kept secrets – both big and small – from her husband and feels like he doesn’t truly see and know her.
Rocky is experiencing empty nest syndrome, the grief associated with children growing up and moving out of the home. Many parents see raising children as their most important role and primary responsibility. After dedicating eighteen-ish years to this job, it can be heartbreaking to feel unneeded, leading many parents to feel worthless or unsettled.
Untreated empty nest syndrome can lead to increased stress and depression, and some people report experiencing symptoms for two years following their youngest child leaving home. Additionally, other mid-life stressors like aging parents, menopause, and marital stress related to life transitions can exacerbate empty nest syndrome.
Here are tools for facing empty nest syndrome:
Feel Your Feelings: It’s ok to grieve. Acknowledge your grief. Journal about it, talk about it, and even cry about it.
One Day is Today: Remember the things you wanted to do when you had more time? It’s here! Take concrete steps to make your adventurous or exciting dreams a reality.
Engage in Activities of Daily Life: Create a new schedule to structure your day. Get dressed, eat, go outside, and spend time with others daily.
Talk, Talk, Talk: If you live with someone, openly discuss the newly quiet home and schedule. View this comparative solitude as an opportunity to reconnect with your partner.
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