When Ben was three years old, his mother, Julia, found herself crying to a stranger in the botanical gardens while her son observed iguanas. The tears fell, as they frequently did those days, despite Julia firmly believing she shouldn’t be crying. She thought three years should have been long enough to get past the baby blues, which others seemed to experience for just a few weeks after their baby was born. And yet, three years had passed, and Julia still cried frequently, struggled to sleep, consistently worried she was a bad mom, lacked social support, isolated from her husband, and experienced intense mood swings.
Julia had postpartum depression.
Many new parents experience baby blues, which is moodiness or crying in the days or weeks following giving birth. Postpartum depression is when feelings progress longer than about two weeks in duration, are overwhelming in nature, and/or impede a parent’s ability to care for themselves or the baby.
Warning signs for postpartum depression include mood swings, feeling depressed, exhaustion, disturbed sleep, difficulty concentrating, loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities, trouble bonding with the baby, and negative thoughts about yourself as a mom or your abilities as a mom.
For some people, postpartum depression can be overcome relatively quickly. Without intervention, postpartum depression can continue for months or years, making bonding with the baby difficult and leaving the parent unable to cope healthily with daily life.
Here are tips for facing postpartum depression:
Mobilize (or Create) Your Village: Tell close friends and family about your feelings. Talk to other new parents who can relate. Ask for help with the things that are stressful to you (i.e., meal train, childcare back-up, loving visits, etc).
Set Realistic Goals: New parenthood is busy, chaotic, confusing, exhausting, and absolutely magical. Prioritize and allow yourself to let go of unimportant tasks.
Get Professional Help: Loop in your obstetrician, primary care doctor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Postpartum depression is best treated with professional help.
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