Increasing Self-Worth and DEEP CUTS by Holly Brickley
- Marisa Gelfand
- Mar 22
- 2 min read
Percy and Joe met in college. Joe was an aspiring musician, and Percy, a music lover with an encyclopedic knowledge of the past fifty years of music, was intrigued. When Joe played his songs for her, Percy offered critiques. Soon, her feedback became essential to improving the songs. Percy had a crush on Joe and didn’t fully recognize the value of her talents, downplaying her contributions. When Joe initially offered to credit her, she demurred, thinking her input was insignificant. Percy thought she was less talented than Joe and felt jealous of his abilities.
Time passed, Percy grew more involved in Joe’s music. They co-wrote a hit, yet Percy received no co-writing credit—only a brief “special thanks.” It took years for Percy to realize her worth as both a collaborator and an individual. Eventually, she learned to appreciate her contributions and understand her talent, recognizing her role in shaping Joe’s success.
Percy struggled with a lack of self-worth, or how one evaluates their abilities and performance. Self-worth is subjective: while some view themselves positively, others are more critical. Those with low self-worth often feel jealous of others' perceived superior skills. This negative self-evaluation and envy can hinder personal growth and relationships, fostering feelings of inadequacy.
Here are tools for increasing self-worth:
Label Your Thoughts: Everyone has a wise mind (reflecting positive truths about yourself) and an inner critic (often negative). Practice identifying your thoughts and labeling whether they come from your wise mind or inner critic.
Externalize Your Inner Critic: Identify the characteristics of your inner critic. What does it sound like, look like, and what motivates it? Pay attention to how your inner critic treats you. Is it speaking with compassion (unlikely), or judgment (more likely)? Reflect on past experiences that have contributed to its development and influence.
Talk Back to Your Inner Critic: Challenge the critic by imagining what it might say from a place of love. Consider what a best friend would say instead. Tell your inner critic to leave you alone if it’s bullying you.
