Lessons Straight Couples Can Learn From LGBTQIA+ Relationships and ATMOSPHERE by Taylor Jenkins Reid
- Marisa Gelfand
- Jun 16
- 2 min read
Joan and Vanessa met in the 1980s while training to become astronauts. At the time, same-sex relationships were heavily stigmatized, gay marriage was illegal, and public understanding of homosexuality was deeply flawed. Love between two women had to remain hidden. On dates, they posed as friends. If they spent the night together, one left before dawn to avoid suspicion.
For years, they built a deep, committed relationship in total secrecy, unable to share their love, hopes, or truth with anyone. The barriers were real, yet their bond endured. They dreamed big—literally reaching for the stars—while offering each other emotional and practical support. They communicated openly, navigated conflict with care, and built a foundation rooted in trust and love.
There’s much that straight couples can learn from LGBTQIA+ relationships. While overall relationship satisfaction is similar, LGBTQIA+ couples often show unique strengths.
LGBTQIA+ couples tend to approach conflict with positivity, infusing disagreements with affection and humor. LGBTQIA+ relationships are generally less controlling and include fewer emotionally hostile behaviors, like belligerence, domineering attitudes, or fear-based tactics.
Fairness, equality, and shared power are more commonly emphasized in LGBTQIA+ partnerships. And, LGBTQIA+ couples experience more sexual satisfaction. These dynamics foster mutual respect and collaboration.
Here are lessons straight couples can learn from LGBTQIA+ relationships:
Fight Friendly: Conflict is inevitable, but it doesn’t have to be destructive. Use humor, warmth, and collaboration to resolve issues. It’s about the couple winning, not one person.
Ditch Gender Roles: Instead of assigning tasks by gender, divide responsibilities based on time, skills, preferences, and fairness. Partnerships thrive when both people feel valued and supported.
Talk About Sex: Honest conversations around boundaries, needs, and pleasure build better intimacy.
Seek Equality: Sharing power and decision-making leads to less conflict, more respect, and deeper connection. Egalitarian relationships are more stable and fulfilling.
Love Taylor Jenkins Reid? Me too. Check out my post (one of my first ever) on Impulsivity and CARRIE SOTO IS BACK by Taylor Jenkins Reid.
