Rebalancing One-Sided Relationships and SEA OF UNSPOKEN THINGS by Adrienne Young
- Marisa Gelfand
- Apr 23
- 2 min read
James and Johnny raised each other after their mom left and their father died. Life was tough, but James always stepped in when Johnny’s impulsiveness got him into trouble, often at her own expense.
Eventually, Johnny’s recklessness crossed a line. After lying to protect him, James saw the emotional toll of constantly sacrificing herself. Their bond was draining and damaging. She realized it was time to leave Johnny and pursue her dreams. For James, choosing herself was hard but necessary.
Healthy relationships are built on balance. Giving and receiving naturally ebb and flow, but something's off if one person constantly carries the load.
It is unrealistic to achieve a perfect balance all the time, but mutual investment is important. Red flags of a one-sided relationship include feeling drained, constantly sacrificing without reciprocation, and a dynamic where you’re always giving while they’re taking.
When these signs show up, it’s important to act. Left unaddressed, one-sided relationships can lead to burnout, anxiety, and depression. That doesn’t always mean ending things—some relationships can be rebalanced, especially when there are deep ties or shared responsibilities.
You can’t force someone to change, but you can shift your behavior. That shift may invite them to meet you halfway—or show you they won’t.
Here are tools for rebalancing one-sided relationships.
Decide Whether Change Is Worth It: Sometimes, a relationship is one-sided, but the emotional fallout of changing or ending it isn’t worth it. Everyone has different limits, and there may be valid, complex reasons you choose to maintain the relationship as is. That’s okay.
Discuss Your Feelings and Boundaries: Share the imbalance you’re experiencing and ask for their perspective. Be clear about what you are—and aren’t—willing to do moving forward.
Allow Others to Face Consequences: Don’t shield the other person from natural consequences once you've set boundaries. Give them space to step up and meet you halfway.
Respect Your Breaking Point: If you’ve tried everything and are met with stonewalling or unwillingness to engage, it’s a sign that the relationship has run its course.
