Soon after graduating from high school, sisters Cassie (a musical prodigy who was neurodivergent) and Zoe (a pop princess who was neurotypical) became the backbone of an ultra-popular band, the Griffin Sisters.
Cassie had struggled. She didn’t meet developmental milestones on time and struggled to maintain eye contact. Her thought patterns were rigid, and her ability to make friends was inhibited. What Cassie lacked in social skills, she made up for in raw musical talent.
Zoe was popular and well-adjusted. She moved through the world with confidence and grace. Zoe was frequently responsible for helping Cassie and came to Cassie’s rescue when other kids laughed at her. When Cassie needed a dose of bravery, Zoe supported Cassie’s confidence enough for her to perform.
Cassie and Zoe loved each other, but their relationship was complex. Sibling relationships all have ups and downs. However, sibling relationships between people with different neurological profiles are particularly challenging. Kids who are neurodivergent sometimes feel unseen or difficult. Kids who are neurotypical can feel upset or embarrassed by their neurodivergent sibling's behavior. Also, parents of kids who are neurodivergent tend to have less bandwidth to foster positive sibling relationships.
Here are tips for supporting relationships between siblings who are neurodivergent and neurotypical.
Provide Age-Appropriate Info: Kids flourish when they understand their sibling’s challenges and strengths. Provide all children with age-appropriate information about how others process thoughts and feelings.
Validate Feelings: Kids may have big feelings about their neurotypical or neurodivergent sibling’s behaviors. Listen, acknowledge feelings, and validate experiences without judgment.
Schedule Special Time: Every relationship needs focused time. Calendar one-on-one child/parent time and sibling/sibling time to strengthen each relationship, not just the family.
Embrace Community: Discuss the experience with people who understand it. Try formal groups or informal conversations with friends in similar situations.
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