Protect Your Sense of Self in a Digital World Designed to Destroy It and THE ACADEMY by Elin Hilderbrand and Shelby Cunningham
- Marisa Gelfand
- 5 days ago
- 2 min read
The students at Tiffin Academy, a prestigious boarding school, are nothing like new student Charley’s classmates back home. She’s still figuring out how to fit in among people whose lives seem straight out of an Instagram feed of the rich and famous.
Take Davi. With 1.3 million followers and a lineup of corporate sponsors, Davi isn’t just a peer, she’s an international influencer. During breaks, she lives in London with her parents, founders of a luxury fashion label. Her feed is filled with designer outfits and glamorous trips to Tuscany and Ibiza. Obviously, when at school she rules the Tiffin social scene.
But beneath the polish, Davi’s life is far from picture-perfect. She’s mourning her best friend who died by suicide last year. Her parents’ shifting relationship leaves her feeling adrift, and the constant pressure to maintain her flawless image deepens her isolation. Teachers assume she’s fine (maybe even running the school for them?), and classmates, including Charley, struggle to see past the filter.
Social media’s glossy veneer hides how destructive it can be to mental health. It sells an illusion of perfection, convincing people that impossible standards of beauty and success are not only normal but expected. When real life can’t compete, disappointment and inadequacy take root. Constant comparison fuels a need for likes and validation, eroding genuine self-worth and connection.
But there are ways to protect your sense of self in a digital world designed to destroy it:
Practice Media Literacy. Question what you see online. Most “perfect” lives are carefully curated illusions.
Set Boundaries: Limit your screen time and pay attention to how it makes you feel. If scrolling leaves you anxious or drained, put the phone down.
Follow Wisely: Unfollow accounts that spark insecurity. Instead, fill your feed with people and creators who inspire or comfort you. Might I recommend bookstagrammers and therapists…?
Celebrate Quietly: Not every win needs to be posted. Try treasuring your achievements privately, acknowledging your growth without counting digital applause.
Love Elin Hilderbrand? Me too. Check out my posts on Seeking External Validation and SWAN SONG by Elin Hilderbrand (yes, there are similar themes).
